rippled reflections.

well since according to the sneaky narwhal, a total of 7 people read my blog,

(and what a shame, i thought it was 8)

i've decided it's not too risky to post this.

i've been feeling inspired by camus for the past couple of days, and this is my own version of catharsis right now.

so here are today's thoughts, in more of an essay-esque format than usual:

the desire for purpose in human life is either the life or death of a soul. in these exact terms, it is revealed that human existence is never as is. never just one thing: there are always two sides. but, in itself, this prediction provides a predicament. for if no one statement goes unopposed, how may one ever present an opinion and fully believe in its truth? this is where the virtue of belief takes precedence in our world. faith, in itself, provides humanity with the catalyst behind motivation. the downfall of the human race was stated by christopher mccandless: “happiness [is] only real when shared”. with the complication in simplicity alexander supertramp emanates, our contradictions fall back into place. love: the most publicized of human emotions, whose vices are so often overlooked in response to its successes. a basic guideline for human existence thus shows itself: prosperity and downfall are achieved in response to the same virtues. then begs the question of whether both ends are possible through these identical merits. while one does not get the privilege to discover the answer to this inquiry until he reaches his own end, he constantly gains the knowledge of reason on the way towards his answer. and then comes our next downfall stated again by mccandless: “if we admit that life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed”. our only savior is deterioration in lieu of downfall. all we can hope for is a natural end before our declension reaches an end of its own.

a distrustful disposition.

i literally just started reading the fall, and only got to page 4 before i had a thought i just had to write down.

the novel starts in a bar, with what feels like almost a stream of consciousness type of writing.

but not exactly, because the character is talking, not just thinking.

he goes off on the disposition of the bar's host, and how his lack of ability to communicate with so many of his customers has created a distrust for the world in him.

with almost a page and a half of reflecting on the character of the host, the speaker proceeds to say:

"mind you, i am not judging him."

because i got this book from the library, there's already some writing in it and the word judging is highlighted and above it, it says:

ironic (he is)

if i hadn't had this copy of this book i may not have paused to think about that sentence.

words very similar to those come out of my mouth more times than i can guess at.

i will start with an observation about someone i do not know, and proceed to make connections which lead to assumptions. not necessarily bad or good; just assumptions.

but this is always the question that comes to mind:

are assumptions bad simply because they are assumptions?

or can they be a good exercise for my mind in wariness and making connections?

maybe the key is to not let those presumptions turn into beliefs.

maybe suppositions can help shape our mind while beliefs become a part of it.

so anyway, thank you lawrence, for bringing me a thought i might not have had if you hadn't taken the time to write yours down.

(he wrote his name in the front of the book)
which reminds me, i recently stumbled upon [this website], and i think it's so cool.

have a lovely rest of your saturday!

xo.

(and i would like to announce that i am now attempting to be a vegetarian thanks to 'food inc.' wonderful)

memories of a life that wasn't mine anymore.

"on the one hand it wasn't very likely. on the other, it was perfectly natural."

do me a favor and read this book. it was very mind opening, and not too lengthy. it made me realize that for the last year, maybe all i've been doing is 'seeing if there's any way out of the inevitable.' and camus answers the obvious...only temporarily. read the book and you might be able to figure out what i'm talking about. i might even start reading again.

p.s.

i feel like a lot of people...[sleep to dream]

& i love meg sanborn.

[photo credz].