joshy.

baby post round two.

in case you're having trouble dealing with everyone and everything tonight, here's something that reminded me of who i am:

[bright smile]

'a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.'

-herm albright

BRING IT ON, LIFE.

i have joshy and a positive attitude on my side.

plus i only have about 1.5 more days until the big buhr cabin in the woods.

adventures are surely soon to come.

p.s.

secret time:

the big window next to my bed has a removable screen and a large planter right outside of it...

aka a balcony to sit and think on with a view...

found my thinking spot for the rest of 2011.

pensive tuesday.

"affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives."

-c.s. lewis

 i can't decide whether i agree with this or not.

or i did until about 2 days ago when i was walking back from the gym after watching fantastic mr. fox during my workout.

(yes, i went to the gym 3 days in a row; and yes, fantastic mr. fox was on while i was ellypticalling)

i'm heading back towards my dormitory and all the sudden a seagull lands in front of me.

now, i don't know if anyone else would've gotten the same moment of solid and durable happiness that i did, but realizing that i'm living close enough to the ocean that i can be walking back from the gym and run into a friendly seagull somehow proved mr. lewis wrong to me.

there's something about the sea that can't not bring a smile to my face. i don't even like swimming that much anymore, but you can't be on the beach and not feel just a little more glee swimming inside you.

but onto the opposing argument.

yesterday, i received many emails from the facer family updating me on jeff facer's uganda adventures. now, i can't give you direct quotes or anything, because there is a very official disclaimer at the end of the emails telling me i can't reveal the information to anyone else, but i can paraphrase how it made me feel.

jeffrey facer: i love you.

the amount of happiness that his words brought me literally made me cry.

it kind of trumped the friendly seagull.
which brings me to my next point.

it's all about perspective.

that's my cliché of the week.

maybe the "happiness" fantastic mr. fox brought me didn't count because it wasn't as strong as the kind affection brought.

what is real happiness?

do you need the complexity of relationships to provide you true joy in life?

or maybe what lewis didn't realize is that the happiness that this affection ends up taking away balances out with the huge amount it initially gives.

since love is the ultimate contradiction.

that must be why i find so much joy in the simple pleasures in life:

accidentally ending up at the santa monica pier, but responding with windows down and sheryl crow blasting.

being reminded of my love for the o.c. while buying my $5 rooney concert ticket.

living with people i love, with more people i love down the hall...all 10 minutes from the beach.
being told that i look like winona ryder in heathers. hello flattery.

making eye contact with cute boys at the book store.

finding a $4 sunshine colored bow hair comb at urban.

but most importantly, celebrating miss kate's twentieth birthday from a couple states away.

love you katiedid91.

and i'm sure joshy would love you too.

happy tuesday everyone, make it a pensive one.

xoxoxoxo.

p.s. shout out to caroline for actually keeping up with follow the sun. love you carrot. 

calling all lovebugs.

i'm in love with smiling this week, more than ever,

and these few things are only a part of what's causing it:

 {bills for $47.47 at table number 47}

{surrounding myself with absurd musicians}

{happy kittens}

{baby teixeira}

{overly-descriptive signs}

{sisters}

{walle bywater}

{mila kunis's beautiful oscar style}

[photo credz].

{spontaneous/hidden photoshoots}

{JOSH RITTER. everything about him. his concert was just as amazing as i'd hoped. in fact, it is my number one concert experience EVER. love you, j. ritt.}

the fact that mr. and mrs. facer are teaching me how to cook tonight. oh, how i love them!

also, the fact that i saw MARK SALLING at in-n-out last sunday. we had some fierce eye contact going down.

also also, the fact that it's shamrock shake season.

[this] video.

[l'espirit de l'escalier].

in addition to all of this, i even have music to keep my life company.

particularly these songs:

hello - martin solveig & dragonette

rolling in the deep (jamie xx remix) - adele

helena beat - foster the people

stitched up - herbie hancock & john mayer

gimme sympathy (acoustic) - metric

cubism dream - local natives

rise up - diane birch

white collar boy - belle and sebastian

crown on the ground - sleigh bells

neighborhood #1 (tunnels) - arcade fire

four winds - bright eyes

i hope everyone is enjoying their last day of february!

xoxo.

so hawt right nah.

every time i open my computer i get to see this beautiful face.
{and no i did not set it myself...that would be more than just slightly creepy}

it just reminds me that in only

EIGHT DAYS.

TWO HOURS.

&

FORTY-SIX MINUTES.
we will be experiencing j. rit. in the flesh.

i mean, really, what more could i ask for?

happy president's day weekend all.

[xoxo].

get lost.

if i were a month, i'd be november.

 if i were a day of the week, i'd be friday.

 if i were a time of day, i'd be nighttime.

if i were a sea animal, i'd be a seahorse.

if i were a direction, i'd be west.

if i were a gemstone, i'd be a sapphire.

if i were a tree, i'd be cherry blossom.

if i were a tool, i'd be the facers' cheese cutter.

if i were a flower, i'd be a daisy.

if i were a kind of weather, i'd be nippy.

if i were a musical instrument, i'd be a voice.

if i were a color, i'd be red.

if i were a fruit, i'd be a pineapple.

if i were an element, i'd be wind.

if i were a food, i'd be apple crumb pie.

if i were a place, i'd be seattle.

if i were a material, i'd be breezy cotton.

if i were a scent, i'd be my christmas perfume (for now).

if i were an object, i'd be a jewelry box.

if i were a song, i'd be monster ballads.

 if i were a bird, i'd be the offspring of a toucan & a hummingbird. 

avalanche cascades.

i occasionally make the mistake of losing track of my love for josh ritter.

i just put on so runs the world away and instantly melted.

i don't think there's any other music that has the ability to make me feel sad and unbelievably happy at the same time.

i guess you could call it thoughtful.

oh, j. rit.

i am WAY too excited to see you live in february.

the countdown starts today...at eighty-nine days.

you could call me over-prepared but i prefer eager.

[enough said].

p.s. the only downside is that josh's music makes me miss jeffrey and kaaaate all the more.

miss you loves.

♥♥♥

sighing just a little bit.

dearest world,


life is hard. in case you hadn't already figured that out yourself. today, all i want to say is this:


"every great dream begins with a dreamer. always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."



harriet tubman


we might all want to change the world (thank you, beatles), but that doesn't take away from the fact that we all have the power to change the world. and i forget that every single day. i never fail to forget that i can do whatever i want. learning to trust yourself is the most important thing you can learn, truly. because if you lose faith in yourself, you lose faith in the world...and that just leaves you feeling empty. starting a new life is scary. so many people are excited for college, and that's great. but a lot of people aren't there yet, and for those of us who've fallen behind, we're a little more scared than excited. unavoidable change like that can be really scary if you don't feel ready. and you can't force yourself to feel ready for anything. we'll just have to take it one day at a time.


unfortunately, itunes won't open for me right now, so i'm not really on top of my music...so i don't have any music to leave you with today.


love always,


cecilia

15 songs...

...that i'm obsessively listening to these days:


1. the golden age - beck


2. here (in your arms) - hellogoodbye {i know this is from forever ago...but it is still so good and i rediscovered it thanks to princemitchy}


3. lonelily - damien rice {reminds me of weddings for some reason?}


4. happy yellow bumblebee - of montreal


5. lisztomania - phoenix


6. the ghost inside - broken bells


7. better life - keith urban {i don't usually like country very much, but this song is too happy to ignore}


8. other side - josh ritter {just bought his golden age of radio album}


9. sexx laws - beck {i just have a newfound obsession with beck}


10. say hey (i love you) - michael franti & spearhead {this was in the movie valentine's day...i need it to come out on dvd now, please}


11. electric twist - a fine frenzy


12. one foot boy - mika {mika is AMAZING. end of story}


13. animal - miike snow {this is just for kate. FULL credit to her for finding this song!}


14. michelle - beatles {i needed to throw some beatles in here somewhere}


15. fader - temper trap

☮

monster ballads.

i was inspired to finally write a new post by jenkem lucas walters (jenkem isn’t in the word dictionary…wtf? oh and i seriously need to stop swearing. it’s just never good. okay seriously, do you see how scattered my thoughts are?). he brought up a very good point about his mind being too full to think straight. then, by connecting it to his journal entries from childhood, it reminded me of how frightened i am to continue growing up. and jacob, i am not copying you, this is just vital for my thought process, but i actually decided to go look at my old journals too. the first one i found was my ‘cool girls’ book. it’s actually really cute because it asks you questions instead of just leaving you pages of blank space, which can be very intimidating to a 7 year old. this is the first full entry i filled out (the bold is what was prewritten in the book and the italics are written by my 7 year old self):

cece

today’s date feb 15, monday

today i was feeling: cute, silly, happy, stupid, playful, fabulous, hip, geeky, dazed.

i was feeling kind of: happy.

i looked: silly.

my hair was: ugly.

it was great when: i got this book.

school was: not today

my wish for today: is that mommy coms home tonit

today i had: fun

on a scale from 1-10 my day was: 6

one more thing about today: i dont know

okay, so i would just like to comment on a couple things. number one, i am confused by the fact that it was monday and yet, i claimed school was ‘not today’. i also don’t understand how i didn’t know how to spell comes and tonight…i was seven, not five. but whatever, that’s not the point at all. the point is how simple my mind was. my biggest wish that i could think of was for my mommy to come home from her 3-day trip to boston (this was probably day 1). the highlight of my day was getting my cool girls diary…and i didn’t think that was sad at all. and how on earth could i not think of ONE more interesting think about my day that day? but, at the time, none of these things mattered to me. what was most important was that my daddy would play ‘the chasing game’ with me when we got home. i didn’t even take into account that i probably had no plans for the rest of the week, that there were hundreds of kids dying from aids in africa, that the boy i liked could’ve talked to another girl at recess that day. adults always say to appreciate your innocence while you have it. but, honestly, if you’re so busy appreciating your innocence, how will you get the chance to enjoy it? that’s such stupid advice. i so miss being able to swim in the pool for hours pretending to be a mermaid, messing up my room and not having to clean it up ten minutes (tops) later. the list just goes on and on and i’m not trying to feel sorry for myself, i’m just putting my thoughts down on paper…or computer screen, i guess. i just hate how quickly innocence is taken from you. but back to my original thought…i’m so scared to get older. if it’s already this hard, how will i survive another day? every experience just brings more clutter for my mind, and it is nowhere near as easy to organize as my room. and now i’ve lost my train of thought so, to conclude, i will fill out a current cool girls diary entry: (fyi, the ‘today i was feeling’ and ‘today i had’ sections have a bunch of words that you circle, so i’m not awkwardly coming up with these on my own)

today’s date february 24^th, 2010, wednesday.

today i was feeling: happy, stupid, dazed, jealous, smart, frustrated.

i was feeling kind of: confused.

i looked: like a mom, according to jeff. tight.

my hair was: awkwardly too straight.

it was great when: i got to drive alone for a while.

school was: fine, but it would’ve been better if i’d actually showed up to p.e.

my wish for today: that my dad would come home.

i couldn’t believe it when: i actually wrote a page & a half long blog post.

i cried when: i thought about everything.

today i had: fun, a crush, a special event, a tummy ache, a surprise, a good day.

on a scale from 1-10 my day was: 8

one more thing about today: i honestly wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my friends. i love you.

p.s. josh ritter at his finest:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h-5bPUEzTE