live & learn.

Rejection is such a terrible feeling. And, the worst part is that it’s everywhere. It comes in all different forms but all of them feel crappy. Something important that I’ve figured out with these seventeen years of life is that, the more you avoid rejection, the more boring your life is. And eventually, your life becomes worse than it would’ve been if you’d just suffered being rejected in the first place. In the past year, I’ve literally become almost the opposite of what I was just a year and a half ago. I used to be this little shy kid who was scared to say crap or wear a push up bra. I was literally scared of push up bras my junior year of high school...that’s just depressing. Especially since I hear the freshman girls at my school are now watching porn together so they’ll “know what to do”. Now that’s extreme and just dirty, but the point is still that I was just really immature. I was also that straight A kid who never had any problems with her parents because she was everything they’d ever wanted. I talked to boys about once a month, having gone to an all-girls school for over two years. And at least 60% of the reason my life was so miserable was because I was so afraid of rejection. Something as simple as someone not smiling back at me after I’d done so to him or her could ruin my day. I had just gotten so sensitive about everything because I was so sheltered at that school that I literally had no life. I had a couple of good friends, and I still love them, but it just was not what high school should be. So, it eventually got so bad that I switched schools. I honestly don’t know how I was brave enough to do it, because it was completely my choice, but thank God I did. I wish that I could say that I became one of those girls who’s friends with everyone and is crazy fun because she doesn’t care what anyone thinks, but I really can’t. I’m still the same person; I just think I kind of figured out how to live. Yeah, you’re going to face rejection if you put yourself out there, but you’re also going to be closer to happiness. At least that’s what I’ve discovered. If I’m my weird self and someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem. I’ve also realized that if you truly get to know someone, you can learn to love anyone. I’ve decided to make mistakes and just…

live & learn.