dressed like a wedding cake.

well, unfortunately, i have gotten sick again.

so, in an effort to cheer myself up, i am making a list of...

things that made me happy yesterday:

1. the hour long adventure i went on last afternoon to find my cell phone - including a baby and ending in success.

2. discovering [this gem].

3. a barbeque in honor of my best friend jeffrey - more to come on that subject.

4. spilling mango twist juice all over my shoulders and hair and laughing instead of getting upset.

5.standing in my kitchen, eating chocolate cake and chicken, and talking to the people i love most in life.

6. "gardening" with k8.

7. sniffing lemons.

8. making my top 5 movies ever list:
1) into the wild

2) the fighter

3) almost famous

4) sunshine cleaners

5) saw

(yes, you read that correctly...saw is in my top 5)

9. continuously falling in love with adele.

10. the idea of evolutionary telephone: one time, i talked about how we probably remember less than a quarter of all the thoughts we have. so because of that, it would make sense that our minds have adapted to this, and formed a method of remembering as much as it can by tweaking thoughts together to form one. there also has to be endless amounts of information in our subconscious that actually comes from someone else's ideas rather than our own, we just don't remember hearing it. in other words, there's more than just a possibility that all of our ideas are ones that have been passed down since the beginning of time, just tweaked a little by our subconscious.

11. finding happiness all over the internet:

[photo credz].

[photo credz].

[photo credz].

[photo credz].

☼
ps happiest of birthdays to jacob! knock the socks off of all those byu-ers.

popsicle.

need i say more?

remember when you introduced us to [this song], dad?
love you.

...men.

THIS is what i have to deal with...that's my eyeliner on his face.

would ya just look at that?

<3

on another note i had t bell for dinner and am cozy in bed right now about to watch a chick flick after a lively night in palm springs last night.

loving the summz.

meeeeep.

photo credits: jeffreybean

17 days:(

"my life has been the poem i would have writ,
but i could not both live and utter it."
henry david thoreau

1. think about it...why is it that every scary movie is about death? why is it that death is what we're most afraid of? it's fear of the unknown.  it's as final as humanity gets.

 

2. as we learn more we're able to make more connections. people who are open minded are just father along. not superior, just ahead. like a 6th grader vs. a 4th grader.

3. mike chang...marry me?

4.

5. [red hot chili peppers].

6. i just love the morning quiet. i think that's the only way i could stand running, oddly enough, is if i did it early in the morning when i could just take in that morning quiet.

7. i am finally a true southern california resident. coachella '12 ticket?

check.

8. these are my dawgz.

9. the other day i stopped my car in the middle of my street on the way out to pick a dandelion and make a wish. it made me smile. i've said it a million times and i'll say it again:

count your blessings and follow the sun.

10.

i'm really a mermaid.

 [photo credz].

wisdom teef.

do my cheeks look chubby to you?

because my family has been laughing at me all day long.

between spaghettios, way too many mashed potatoes and watermelon pinkberry,

the wisdom teeth healing process hasn't been too bad.

time for the really cute ice pack that wraps around my head and reduces the swelling!
speaking of which...

oh ya.

oh, and credits to madeline ann for the hair-do.

did you know you have big ears?

rainbow cupcakes. of montreal. geoff's house minus geoff.

 facer babies.

 caroline's creepy piñata. hand placement. jeffrey photography. baby skye.

 dad's wrestling wounds. austin lee creeping. san clemente. myspace pix.

p.s.
i want [this], [this], [these], [these] and [one of these].

just thought i'd share.

slow motion.

i could just dance.

the other day, some mistakes were made and it led to a conversation i didn't want to have.

actually, this entire month that has seemed to be happening to me.

i keep experiencing conversations that i would have put off forever but, now that they've happened, i could literally think for years about.

if i went to jail right now, at least i would have all these thoughts to keep me company.

now, let me get to the point.

i realized that my blog has a theme after all. one time, i talked about how everyone has their gimmick.

well, i'm 18, taking the semester off school, lacking a job and living in the smallest, most conservative, town i've ever experienced.

but i have a gimmick:

contradictions.
 

my writing is a never ending novel about contradictions -

the fact that human love gives us all we can really hold on to in this world, but at the same time, can hurt people to the point of losing themselves.

the fact that i think talking about love is cheesy, and yet have to restrain myself from writing it down more than i do with any other word.

philosophy begins and ends with contradictions.
i once said human selfishness stems from the fact that we are the only constants in our life.

and i believe that that's why we, as humans, reach for a higher power.

because we need to rationalize how limitless our minds are.

i was so sure that this was the answer: there has to be a higher power that we can't rationalize, because what else could create this lack of limits in our mind?

but then,

i came to a different conclusion. the most ultimate conclusion i have ever achieved in my own life.

if everything has a contradiction, there is no truth.

truth is nothing but a conformity of the human mind.

the psyche's inability to expand enough to create limits gets rationalized by this idea of

"truth".

call me crazy, but i think that the key to being open minded is accepting the fact that everything has a contradiction.

and can't we agree on the fact that open-mindedness is a virtue more than a vice?

the obstacle is that when most people realize this, they seem to settle on "picking their own truths".

what does that even mean? how can that possibly work as a rationalization for anyone?

truth is supposed to be universal.

without "truth", our mind gets too overwhelmed to ever reach an intangible end with our ideas.

 on that note, i have absolutely no clue how to conclude this idea.

so anyway, i could just dance.