slow motion.

i could just dance.

the other day, some mistakes were made and it led to a conversation i didn't want to have.

actually, this entire month that has seemed to be happening to me.

i keep experiencing conversations that i would have put off forever but, now that they've happened, i could literally think for years about.

if i went to jail right now, at least i would have all these thoughts to keep me company.

now, let me get to the point.

i realized that my blog has a theme after all. one time, i talked about how everyone has their gimmick.

well, i'm 18, taking the semester off school, lacking a job and living in the smallest, most conservative, town i've ever experienced.

but i have a gimmick:

contradictions.
 

my writing is a never ending novel about contradictions -

the fact that human love gives us all we can really hold on to in this world, but at the same time, can hurt people to the point of losing themselves.

the fact that i think talking about love is cheesy, and yet have to restrain myself from writing it down more than i do with any other word.

philosophy begins and ends with contradictions.
i once said human selfishness stems from the fact that we are the only constants in our life.

and i believe that that's why we, as humans, reach for a higher power.

because we need to rationalize how limitless our minds are.

i was so sure that this was the answer: there has to be a higher power that we can't rationalize, because what else could create this lack of limits in our mind?

but then,

i came to a different conclusion. the most ultimate conclusion i have ever achieved in my own life.

if everything has a contradiction, there is no truth.

truth is nothing but a conformity of the human mind.

the psyche's inability to expand enough to create limits gets rationalized by this idea of

"truth".

call me crazy, but i think that the key to being open minded is accepting the fact that everything has a contradiction.

and can't we agree on the fact that open-mindedness is a virtue more than a vice?

the obstacle is that when most people realize this, they seem to settle on "picking their own truths".

what does that even mean? how can that possibly work as a rationalization for anyone?

truth is supposed to be universal.

without "truth", our mind gets too overwhelmed to ever reach an intangible end with our ideas.

 on that note, i have absolutely no clue how to conclude this idea.

so anyway, i could just dance.