how very.

could someone please explain to me why i have such a fascination with europe?

i mean, of course, i'd be happy to travel anywhere...but there's something about europe.

i would love to go to the south of france (particularly saint-tropez) and just go shopping every day and eat crêpes with nutella. could i get any more typical?

someday i'll get there.

 

i've started journaling. life isn't nearly as dark as you seem to think it is if you just get it all out and smile a little. although, today i read an essay by amy cunninghan on how women use smiles as a front for their real feelings. as oscar wilde once said, "a woman's face is her work of fiction".

 

my new obsession with the movie heathers has made me that much more pessimistic. i have this idea of this person that i want to be and she is so much more optimistic than the real cece. my teen angst years are supposed to be over...oh well. maybe when i get to france.

but continuing on that note - who i want to be. all that be happy with who you are crap is just that - crap. we wouldn't be anywhere if we didn't want to be something else than we are! isn't that what we're heading towards? an extreme that we'll never reach? we're just modified versions of everything we've ever wanted - isn't that sad? ...the cynicism is creeping back in.

forgive me, i'll count my blessings later.
 

there are just times in life when you can't talk and get it out. it's like what's going on inside of you is too private even for the air to hear. why is that? where is that fear of openness coming from? i have a blog...somehow i'm contradicting.

 

on another note, some people just need to grow up.

where do they get off? i mean, really?

i'll spare you the details but i just thought i'd throw that out there.

not having a facebook is so nice. and i miss it much less than usual.

just a warning...more schizophrenic rants to come.

oh, and as for the new header: i thought follow the sun deserved a fresh start.

[photo credz].