a distrustful disposition.

i literally just started reading the fall, and only got to page 4 before i had a thought i just had to write down.

the novel starts in a bar, with what feels like almost a stream of consciousness type of writing.

but not exactly, because the character is talking, not just thinking.

he goes off on the disposition of the bar's host, and how his lack of ability to communicate with so many of his customers has created a distrust for the world in him.

with almost a page and a half of reflecting on the character of the host, the speaker proceeds to say:

"mind you, i am not judging him."

because i got this book from the library, there's already some writing in it and the word judging is highlighted and above it, it says:

ironic (he is)

if i hadn't had this copy of this book i may not have paused to think about that sentence.

words very similar to those come out of my mouth more times than i can guess at.

i will start with an observation about someone i do not know, and proceed to make connections which lead to assumptions. not necessarily bad or good; just assumptions.

but this is always the question that comes to mind:

are assumptions bad simply because they are assumptions?

or can they be a good exercise for my mind in wariness and making connections?

maybe the key is to not let those presumptions turn into beliefs.

maybe suppositions can help shape our mind while beliefs become a part of it.

so anyway, thank you lawrence, for bringing me a thought i might not have had if you hadn't taken the time to write yours down.

(he wrote his name in the front of the book)
which reminds me, i recently stumbled upon [this website], and i think it's so cool.

have a lovely rest of your saturday!

xo.

(and i would like to announce that i am now attempting to be a vegetarian thanks to 'food inc.' wonderful)